Black Raven Dragoons

[Zancarius]

In order to qualify why I'm not the best person to seek political advice from, I decided to compile a list of the things I'd do as President. Take this as a list of reason why you wouldn't want me to be President. Period.

National Holiday

My first act as President would be to make July 30th, better known as System Administrator Appreciation Day, a national holiday. Companies that fail to observe this holiday would have their geek cred taken away. I would then be known as the first BOFH president in history.

The Sciences

I'd funnel money into the sciences and NASA. While it might not be able to successfully produce sharks with freakin' lasers, I'd make sure we'd do something useful as a country. One such example would be to send a manned mission the Uranus. That way, when pressed by my opponents in my reelection for examples of what I've done as President, I could look at him and earnestly explain, "I sent a manned mission to your anus. That's a pretty remarkable feat. As President, you couldn't send a manned mission to anyone's anus."

I'd also make the LHC look like child's play. In 20 years, we'd have a bigger, badder itty-bitty particle smasher I'd dub the "Mother Fitzgerald's Big Absinthe Samuel Smasher." Substitute italicized words with appropriate expletives for full effect.

International Relations

I would demand that international incidents be settled in a civil manner. I'm thinking Quake 3 Arena*. Just imagine! Somali pirates take another ship, and we haul the president of Somalia into a massive LAN party along with leaders of the free world and have an outright death match. If Somalia's president wins, the pirates get to keep the ship. If he loses, the leader of the country who got the highest score would get to literally blow the crap out of the pirates with rockets and other things that make big booms.

* Q3A was my primary selection, because if we went with StarCraft to decide the outcome of international affairs, South Korea would probably become dictator of the world.

I have a few other ideas I'm mulling over. I might have to make a blog post over this.

[Grimblast]

Haha! Amen to that! I look forward to your blog post if you do one.